welkom op mijn blog 

private instagram: @jessiiev_

fan instagram: @justadirectioner_x

KIK: justadirectionerxox 

what is life

Stressed, depressed and boyband obsessed.

 it's ok o be a glowsick sometimes we need o break before we shine.  

I'm hungry bu I can't eat.

I'm tired but I can't sleep.

I'm sad but i can not cry.

suicidal bu I can't die..

 i'm sorry i am not perfect. i'm sorry i cut. i'm sorry i break my promises. i'm sorry i want to give up. i'm sorry i want to die. i'm sorry i want to kill myself. i'm sorry i hide my emotions. i'm sorry i lie and say i am fine. i'm sorry i am pushing you away.

i'm sorry mom for not being te perfect daughter you've always wanted.

i hope on day you will realize i did truly are for you. i promise you're ganna miss me being there, putting up with you, refusing to give up on you. you're gonna regret everything you've done to me, including all the damage you've caused. and someday, you'll turn back and i won't be waiting for you any longer. i might have been worthless to you, but you'll miss me, when i become priceless to another.

i know of a place where you never get harmed a magical place called.. indoors.


you're not scared of the dark. you're scared of what's in it .

you're not afraid of heights. you're afraid of falling.

you're not afraid of the people around you. you're just afraid of rejection.

you're not afraid to love. you're just afraid of not being loved back.

you're not afraid to let go. you're just afraid to accept te reality that he's gone.

you're not afraid to try again. you're just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason. 

Lees verder...

not an average girl

have you ever felt uncomfortable with a relation ship you have/ had? it doesn't have to be boyfriend - girlfriend. it can be friends, foe's or family. 

wel i'm in this situation right now and i don't really know wat to do. i don't want to break that persons heart but i also don't want to break mine.

life isn't always what you want it to be and that's something what makes it difficult. i would love to have a normal life somethimes but the only thing i could think of is spongebob and that would be so boring i want to be diffrent no matter how hard it can be. 

just like perrie edwards says if you like it wear it no matter what other people think.... 

Lees verder...

what's going on


 where do i start... ?

at school there's a girl and i think she's jelly of me. cause every time i am close with a friend of mine L she is pissed off. i don't even know why, and if i like someone she's saying he's a 32 year old pedofile.

i want to punch her in the face so bad...

there is this guy i like. and that girl i had a fight with is saying he should get cancer. i don't know what to do anymore.

"god gives the hardest fights to his strongest soldiers"

"no matter how hard life is, don't lose hope"

i wish it's saturday so i can see him.


Lees verder...


Schreeuwen WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE ANNOYED IF I TALK ABOUT 1D they saved my life. i'm glad i can at least talk to mrs. Styles yes really and a friend i'm not gonna say the names cause i don't know who's reading this.  

I don't know what to say

I rather die than being in a place were no one cares about me and only think that i'm a bitch, and even say shut the fuck up before i could open my mouth.

i wish i had someone who has the same feeling as i do someone who loves one direction and accept me om who i am.

that chick who i called tamara earlier in a blog just dumped me. she is copying me sinds i was in the 1th grade. like:

- i liked smosh first and anthony was my fave than she liked them

- i liked one direction first with niall as my favorite same to her later was louis my favorite same to her now is harry my fave and she's back to niall

- i liked little mix first and jade was my fave same to her

- i liked 5 sos the fist and ashton was my fave same to her

she has the same jacked as me and the same jeans it's so damn annoying but i think no one understands me my mom says i shouldn't be so mean to her. that proper pisses me off.

when i was slipping away 5 hands reached out for me and pulled me back up when i slipped further those 5 hands hold on closerLachend 

so tired

need to get up today at 6.15am so not cool. i have to work at a child fair. and i went to bed late yesterday because of all the drama. 101 larryshippersl/ directionersl/ sisters made an end of their lives. it's sad but it's true



I was just looking at twitter today and WhatTheFudgecake is going on?! i mean how rude to make such a documentary of us the directioners on channel 4.

#thanksliam for saying nice things but really al the fandoms are supporting us even the wanted fanmily and the swifties. but 1D (exept liam ) aren't i don't want to be rude but that's kinda sad.

the documentary was really mean towards the larryshippers and some of them killed themselves. i dont think channel 4 knows what they are doing. we are people.. we have FEELINGS so i really want to punch you in the face right now you killed some of my sisters channel 4 you murders some people of my family! i hate you. you should look in the mirror right now and think what have i done. and one direction please show us that you care because words are just words until you bring them to life.

#RipMySisters i love you. you made my day shine brighter. you are in a better place right now. it's sad how life needs to end but you are in a place right now where you have as much as one direction stuff as you want. I love you and i know so does the rest of my family.Onschuldig

#PrayFor1DFandom. Huilen 

:( bleeh

Schreeuwen been to the dentist today.

it sucks but yeah went shopping and that was cool :D

now i'm bored do decided to place a log  


being bored all day so decided to make a new blog because my other one sucks lol xD

i'm listening to 1D's new song al day (just can't let her go) and watching awkward.

i actually feel similar to Jenna not that much but i mean with the friends i have

1 best friend who totally understands me (in awkward tamara) and

i have another close friend but we somethimes don't understand each other ( in awkward ming)

also does my tamara ( no that's not her real name) has a boyfriend but he's not a Ricky mor a Jake Rosati.